Official Apology for Lack of Blogs

I apologize for the lack of blogs.  I am in a state of general writer’s block.  In fact, I also have reader’s block.  I love reading; I love writing.  I have lots of free time while I live by myself in a place I don’t know many people… I had even more time before I started my job at International Justice Mission (which I am greatly enjoying, by the way).  So why don’t I use this outpouring of time—something so many people are short on—for anything productive?  (Well, unless you call developing and feeding an addiction to the show Veronica Mars productive)

The reason is simple:  I need structure.  When my time is structured, and when I am busy, I make time to do all sorts of things I want to do.  Not only that, but my mind tends to be more creative.  Sadly, my mind is not creative on command.  It needs material!  It needs life.

My productivity has been limited to exercise, shopping for my new business-formal wardrobe, and—as often as possible—making new friends.  Oh!  One day I even did a really poor job of mowing the backyard lawn with a push mower (no gas, no electricity, just the power of me).

Everyone says, “Oh, if only I had time, I’d ________________.”  I’ve had time!  What did I do?  Activities that did not involve creativity.  Not things I would have inserted into the fill-in-the-blank section above.

I need to use the time within my busyness for creativity.  To keep a journal/notebook on hand for the random moments of inspiration.  To enjoy the busyness when it comes to me (which, as I look at my calendar for the rest of September, will be coming soon) rather than bemoaning my lack of time.

I also need people.  In college, my best days of studying—especially writing—were those I spent sitting in the closest It’s a Grind with Tasha, drinking that month’s specialty ice blended coffee beverage, rocking out to the Garden State soundtrack through my headphones, and working.  It helps to know I can just look up and make a random comment whenever something comes to mind I want to share.

Productivity and creativity also involve just starting.  Like this blog, for example.  I didn’t think about what I’d write before it burst onto the page at 60 words per minute, but suddenly it’s here.  What happened to my ability to simply write?  To let words flow out of me I didn’t know were there?  Now, when I try, I think.  I think, I plan, I scheme, I type, I delete, I close the document and insert the next disk of Veronica Mars or Scrubs or Arrested Development.

Here’s hoping my upcoming busyness will distract me from the evil of overthinking, and my creative side will return from hibernation so when "writing" is one of my answers to the infamous “what do you like to do?” I won't be lying.